CHALLENGE UPDATE: Day 12

Looks like milk, but they're actually just pouring straight sugar. Enjoy!

Reach into the pantry for a breakfast bowl. Meijer off brand Raisin Bran. High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Excitedly awaiting a single serving of Yoplait yogurt. High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Someone is handing out delicious birthday cupcakes and has saved one for you. High Fructose Corn Syrup.

HFCS is like a Herpes flare up at the most inconvenient time... so I'm told. While I have started out strong and Wife has kept vigilant, HFCS keeps flaring up. I'm beginning to think people are purposely putting it in their food now just to make life difficult.

I think the most deceptive is my morning cereal regimen. Those who have been around me in the morning know I don't like talking, moving, breathing, or thinking before cereal. If I could figure out a way to do my morning pee and eat at the same time so I wouldn't waste precious seconds before breakfast, I would. Certainly, the last thing I want to discover is that the cereal I'm about to eat is something I can't eat. So, I've loaded the pantry with safe cereals. As it turns out, they were the opposite of what I was expecting.

Here's a fun quiz. If you had Kellogg's Frosted Flakes and Kellogg's Low Fat Granola with Raisins on your shelf and you had to choose the one with no HFCS, which one would it be? If you chose Granola, you are terrible at this. Seriously, see for yourself. Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, Corn Pops, and Honey Smacks all have no HFCS. That's not to say there is no sugar; sugar is actually the main ingredient of most of these cereals. But processed high fructose sweetener is absent from these products. Now compare that to the other side: Raisin Bran, the aforementioned Granola with Raisins, regular Granola, and freaking SMART START. What kills me is the Granola with Raisins, which is a cereal that already has a prominent fruit in it and still needs a fruit sugar substitute! WTF?!

And those damn Oreos are STILL THERE.

CHALLENGE UPDATE: Day 2

Stare into the face of evil.

The Oreos are taunting me. Every single freakin' time I walk into the kitchen, I hear their Siren song. Every time I open the pantry door, the evil bag is staring at me. "Just one," It says, "It'll make you fell goooood."

I usually scream 'NOOOOOOOOOOO!" at this point and hide under my papasan chair. It wasn't until just now that I figured out that papasan did not contain an "i," but no time for distractions right now. I am in a battle of wills.

Oreos are really the second major obstacle to my Non High Fructose Corn Syrup diet. I had already been denied with my ketchup. I would have been okay with just that revelation had Wife not felt it was her appointed duty to start checking everything I could immediately eat from that point on. It turns out she quite enjoys the fact that Man's greatest food invention is also on the forbidden list. I am not so amused. I can't tell if I want an Oreo because I want an Oreo, or if I want an Oreo because I can't have it. Grr.

I did have to do my first research Wednesday night. It was eleven at night and I hadn't eaten dinner yet. I was looking at a long drive home from the relatively small town where I work, which meant my options were limited to Taco Bell or nothing at all. I was just about the pull in when I realized I had no idea what was in these burritos (which, sadly, had never stopped me before). I had to turn around and drive back to work, fire up a computer, surf to the Taco Bell website, and find out exactly what I would be eating. Most of what I saw I couldn't pronounce, but as long as I stayed away from the empenada and most of the sauces, I would be fine. I went Fresco that night.

Conclusion: If you want a regular meal, you are probably going to be fine. If you want something fun and sweet, however, you are probably going to be disappointed.

...And my evil Oreo voice sounds like Christopher Walken from The Prophecy.

CHALLENGE: High Fructose Corn Sacrifice

Nobody seems to know what High Fructose Corn Syrup is. The word "corn" is a dead giveaway that it has something to do with maize. Syrup is probably indicative of a pancake-condiment-like consistency. But when you put all the words together, they appear to take on a whole life of their own. The only thing people seem to know is that it's bad for you... or good for you, depending on what people think they know.

What is HFCS? It's a manufactured sweetener. It basically is milled and processed corn that is turned into starch, then corn syrup, then given a little enzyme party that turns almost half of that corn syrup (almost all glucose) into fructose. Fructose is the sugar molecule associated commonly with fruits and is what most food companies add to their product to make it taste better.

Now that your eyes have melted into your skull from boredom, here's a diagram I made for you in MS Paint to explain the process:

Science!

Is HFCS bad for you? There is some research that seems to link steady consumption of HFCS to a number of health issues, including obesity. Those on the other side will point out that there is no conclusive link that HFCS is the main cause of any of this.

Whether it is good or bad is not the point of this challenge. The thing I've noticed is that it is in EVERYTHING. Can something like this - that is "fine in moderation" - be taken in moderately when it is nearly unavoidable? How much do I normally take in? Can I stop? Will it even make a difference?

THE CHALLENGE:
Avoid all High Fructose Corn Syrup for 30 days. A day for each year of my life. My wife will be the observer and auditor.

RULES:
1. Absolutely no HFCS products, including condiments and dressings
2. All days are consecutive
3. If eating out at a place that doesn't make all food in-house (bars, fast food) I must know ahead of time. If I don't know ahead of time, I have to assume that foods that could have HFCS WILL have it. Asking is allowed.

START DATE: October 4th, 2011 7:00pm
ESTIMATED END DATE: November 3rd, 7:00pm

My first meal tonight HFCS free was going very well. Wife and I were aiming for some Kroger brand Shells and Cheese with vegetarian hot dogs. Not a usual meal, but some classic comfort foods perfect for the start of fall. Checked the shells and cheese: clean. Checked the hot dogs: clean. So I sat down to eat and grabbed the ketchup...

Ketchup: HFCS, third ingredient.

Dry hot dog. Nice.

Also, the buns were stale. Not that I could have eaten those anyway (HFCS). This is going to be annoying.