While doting over my beloved wife one evening, She hath asked of me how thy latest challenge is progressing. I hath said unto... I can't keep this up.
I told her it wasn't going very well. Then she said something that changed the game, "If you want to do chivalry, why don't you leave the toilet seat down?"
A QUEST!
Normally, I would have responded with my standard excuses (I find it sexist, I'm lazy, we have to bathrooms and I can leave one seat up and just poop in the other, etc...), but it got me thinking about the whole Chivalry thing. What is more Chivalrous than A QUEST?!?!??!
A QUEST!
From this day forth, I shall seek the favour (note the British spelling of "favour," which means it's serious) of my lady by putting down the toilet seat! This is swear upon Excalibur!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
CHALLENGE UPDATE: Day 5
The long and the short of this is: I'm terrible at this new challenge.
I remember seeing old videos in grade school about how dinosaurs had poor nervous systems that operated too slow. If a branch falls on a dino's foot, instead of going to it's spinal column, the signal would make a lazy path to it's brain, then all the way back again to tell it to move (at least that is how 4th grade me remembers it).
I feel that is very much like my Chivalrous reaction time. Every time a female enters a room, the signal makes it's way from my eyes to the brain with all the urgency of a Family Circus cartoon. By the time I register that there is a female in the room and the signal makes a leisurely path to my legs forcing me to stand, the room is once again empty.
...Also I swear A LOT in public.
I remember seeing old videos in grade school about how dinosaurs had poor nervous systems that operated too slow. If a branch falls on a dino's foot, instead of going to it's spinal column, the signal would make a lazy path to it's brain, then all the way back again to tell it to move (at least that is how 4th grade me remembers it).
I feel that is very much like my Chivalrous reaction time. Every time a female enters a room, the signal makes it's way from my eyes to the brain with all the urgency of a Family Circus cartoon. By the time I register that there is a female in the room and the signal makes a leisurely path to my legs forcing me to stand, the room is once again empty.
...Also I swear A LOT in public.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
CHALLENGE: Chivalry Rehabilitated (Chival-Rehab)
Back in the Middle Ages, there was this idea of Chivalry. It started as a code of knighthood to enable the aristocratic warrior class to fight according to principles of honor, courage, loyalty, and excellence. As various romantic and religious elements took hold, Chivalry evolved to include upholding Christianity, honoring heraldry, protecting the innocent or poor, and service to thine lady.
It is the romantic notion of courtly love (service and devotion to your love) that survives as a chivalrous idea today. When people say, "Chivalry is dead," they mean courtly love and manners are dead. At least I think so. I don't see too many people lamenting the lost art of mace fighting or suit-of-armor polishing. Modern Chivalry has also come to take the form of gentlemanly conduct in the face of one's love and rivals.
I could use some class in the face of my enemies, so this sounds like the next great challenge. Rather than get an armor suit and getting my horse to prance around daintily while poking people with a stick (I'm not sure I really understand jousting), I'm going concentrate more on the social rules of conduct.
I did some research (on the internet) to create some guidelines Chivalry. There is no definitive guide, but I managed to pull the main concepts from various sources and arrange them into a list of some sort.
This set is what I like to call the List Chivalry And Gentlemanly Guidelines (LOCAGG):
No cursing in public.
Don't raise your voice unless in public address or declaration of love.
Maintain an even temper.
Don't interrupt.
Remove your hat indoors.
Be the last to sit at a table.
Always forgive.
Strive to be charitable every day. Specifically: do at least one selfless act for the less fortunate.
This is a little list that I like to call the List of Chivalry and Gentlemanly Guidelines Regarding All Ladies (LOCAGGRAG):
Always be vigilant to defend the honor and virtue of my lady.
Always stand when a lady enters the room. Stand on exit if possible.
Pull out chairs for a lady. If there are no chairs, offer your chair.
Open doors for a lady (or elderly).
Put on a coat for a lady.
Offer an arm to a lady when escorting outside.
Ask at least once every fifteen minutes if my lady needs anything.
THE CHALLENGE:
Uphold the spirit of Chivalry for 30 days by adhering to the rules outlined in the LOCAGG and the LOCAGGRAG to find out if there is any virtue to Virtue.
RULES:
1. All days are consecutive.
2. I must follow the rules outlined in the LOCAGG and the LOCAGGRAG.
3. While general rules regarding women are in play for all women, my Lady of Favour will always be my wife.
4. If something is deemed contrary to the LOCAGG/RAG or against the spirit of the challenge, Wife will decide the proper restitution.
Start Date: Monday, November 14th, 2011 12:01 AM
End Date: Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 Midnight
Huzzah!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Re: College Park, PA
I had promised to post earlier about the conclusion of the first challenge. I had promised and failed to deliver. To be honest, I have been absorbed in what has been going on at Penn State. I just had to see what was going to happen. It was a lot like a car crash, if the car also ran over hopes, dreams, and integrity of an entire program. I'll get back to Challenge in a bit, but first I have to rant about PSU.
I am not a Penn State fan, nor am I a Nittany Lion, but I have always been a Big Ten (or B1G, as the logo goes) guy. It may seem bizarre to some people, I grew up wanting to go to one of these schools. As a kid and a prospective student, you know about the Rose Bowl, the rivalries, and all the history that comes with these institutions. It's not just athletics, but it's also a collection of research-sharing, like-minded institutions. And if you have been born after Woodstock, then you know of no other coach at Penn State than Joe Paterno. Supposedly, he has been the last bastion of the "old school" philosophy of coaching where character and development is supposed to matter.
That is what has made the past week crushing. Not just tough, or bewildering, or shocking. This is crushing. If you don't know what happened, please fill yourself in before continuing.
As the saying goes, it isn't the crime, but the cover-up that sinks people. I never thought anything would sicken me more than child sexual abuse. It turns out that hiding child sexual abuse for over a decade while allowing the perpetrator to prey on new victims is the New Low. I tried to hold judgement until the actual trial, but the grand jury testimony is so damning from so many witnesses... If only one testimony turns out to be true, it would still be just as bad. I am so angry that this could happen and I can't imagine what Nittany students and players are feeling like now, so I won't.
The conflict I face is how to reconcile the Jo Pa I have known v The Jo Pa revealed to us. I had a philosophy that certain coaches have earned the right to style their own exit. Now I realize the folly of that thinking. Even the most well-meaning of men can become enamored with fame. It ends up defining your life to the point where you don't know how to live without it. Jo Pa was asked to leave in 2004 and basically told the AD "I don't think so." Who the hell can tell their boss that? Someone who thinks they are untouchable. Someone who has grown so completely into their job that no one - not even themselves - can wrench them from it. A man like that was only going to exit one of two ways: scandal or death.
I don't want to blame Jo Pa for all of this. Sandusky allegedly did these heinous acts and he is the culprit. But the buck stopped with Paterno when it was reported to him. If he covered up the crimes, he is certainly just as reprehensible. If he didn't know or forgot, he is not truly in charge at PSU, which would make it even worse since the inmates were basically running the asylum. He just cannot escape this.
None of this is demonstrating character. None of this is helping the young men on the team learn anything. None of this is like the Paterno we had come to know. I guess this proves we didn't know him at all.
I am not a Penn State fan, nor am I a Nittany Lion, but I have always been a Big Ten (or B1G, as the logo goes) guy. It may seem bizarre to some people, I grew up wanting to go to one of these schools. As a kid and a prospective student, you know about the Rose Bowl, the rivalries, and all the history that comes with these institutions. It's not just athletics, but it's also a collection of research-sharing, like-minded institutions. And if you have been born after Woodstock, then you know of no other coach at Penn State than Joe Paterno. Supposedly, he has been the last bastion of the "old school" philosophy of coaching where character and development is supposed to matter.
That is what has made the past week crushing. Not just tough, or bewildering, or shocking. This is crushing. If you don't know what happened, please fill yourself in before continuing.
As the saying goes, it isn't the crime, but the cover-up that sinks people. I never thought anything would sicken me more than child sexual abuse. It turns out that hiding child sexual abuse for over a decade while allowing the perpetrator to prey on new victims is the New Low. I tried to hold judgement until the actual trial, but the grand jury testimony is so damning from so many witnesses... If only one testimony turns out to be true, it would still be just as bad. I am so angry that this could happen and I can't imagine what Nittany students and players are feeling like now, so I won't.
The conflict I face is how to reconcile the Jo Pa I have known v The Jo Pa revealed to us. I had a philosophy that certain coaches have earned the right to style their own exit. Now I realize the folly of that thinking. Even the most well-meaning of men can become enamored with fame. It ends up defining your life to the point where you don't know how to live without it. Jo Pa was asked to leave in 2004 and basically told the AD "I don't think so." Who the hell can tell their boss that? Someone who thinks they are untouchable. Someone who has grown so completely into their job that no one - not even themselves - can wrench them from it. A man like that was only going to exit one of two ways: scandal or death.
I don't want to blame Jo Pa for all of this. Sandusky allegedly did these heinous acts and he is the culprit. But the buck stopped with Paterno when it was reported to him. If he covered up the crimes, he is certainly just as reprehensible. If he didn't know or forgot, he is not truly in charge at PSU, which would make it even worse since the inmates were basically running the asylum. He just cannot escape this.
None of this is demonstrating character. None of this is helping the young men on the team learn anything. None of this is like the Paterno we had come to know. I guess this proves we didn't know him at all.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
CHALLENGE UPDATE: The Home Stretch
Here I am, the last Challenge day. I feel like it has been much easier than I thought it would be. I am considering something different to push the envelope of this exercise. Perhaps an ultra-challenge? Raise the stakes a bit?
I'm still hashing out the details, but I'll reveal it either by the end of challenge day today or tomorrow. Stay Tuned.
I'm still hashing out the details, but I'll reveal it either by the end of challenge day today or tomorrow. Stay Tuned.
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